The After-Thanksgiving I’m Tired List

The coolest grandmother in the world has been paying a week-long visit. I want to be just like this young-at-heart, world-traveling 83-year-old when I get to be her age. Just, you know, without the sporadic racist comments.

It’s been a great visit overall, with much eating and much more drinking than I am accustomed to (no, really). I woke up this morning feeling wholly unprepared for a fresh new work week, and as I stumbled around the house (trying for the love of god to get out the door on time for once) I tallied up all the items that are taxing my currently limited supply of tolerance and energy.

Happy Thanksgiving! I’m tired of:

- Turkey. I lost my sense of taste (due to a cold) just in time for Thanksgiving dinner, but I’m still sick to death of the bird. Sister has a touch of the crazies when it comes to making meals- she is forever paranoid that there won’t be enough food so she overcompensates with a vengeance. I don’t think it would have killed anyone to practice a little portion control, and a smaller bird would have saved all the diners from the turkey doggie bags pushed into our hands as we left, along with the endless turkey leftovers. Turkey sandwiches for our visiting grandmother the next day, turkey curry for another family dinner over the weekend (I made this and it rocked, actually), and I believe she’s plotting a mini Thanksgiving Revisited sometime this week. And yet, somehow my brain short-circuited yesterday morning and I decided ground turkey tacos would be a good choice for my lunches this week. All 5 of ‘em. Gag.

- Leftovers in general. See the above food paranoia and you will know why the traditional Thanksgiving side dishes like mashed and sweet potatoes, green bean casserole and cranberry sauce have had daily recurrences over the last 3 meals.

- Competing with my niece for attention. Petty? Sure. But I’ve been mid-story/sentence when a visiting family member inevitably tunes out and begins singing to/playing with the baby, never to return again. As you can imagine, it’s a real ego boost. Last time my parents were in town, I nearly took an elbow to the jaw as my mother shoved me out of the way to get the little one up from her nap.

- Marital tension between Sister and Clod. Yeesh. Going over to their place lately has been kind of like sliding into a damp, narrow hole. Without a lantern. And the ground is closing in above you. And you’re wearing a 30-pound weight strapped to your chest.

- Being nice to Monk and vice versa. I tend to overcompensate during family visits as well, but I do it with Evidence of a Good Relationship instead of food. For some reason Monk and I seem to get more affectionate and helpful and “no no let ME do the dishes” and “thank you SO MUCH” when we are surrounded by family. Too much of the Perfect Spouse behavior and I want to stick a butter knife in my eye. I’m actually glad Monk has practice tonight and will not be joining everyone for pizza so I can freakin’ relax already.

- Complaining. (Sigh) I have more, but it might be beneficial for all of us if I just put this to bed. I’m tired of the I’m Tired List.

Hope your Thanksgiving was warm and fuzzy.

2 comment:

Blogger Lisa said...

Your comment about your grandma was funny. Racist comments... Yup. I know how that is when it comes to older people.

8:12 PM  
Anonymous Pickle said...

I didn't go home for Thanksgiving. I wound up over at Omaha Sarah's place with her kids and her friend Mike.

Her daughter, who I'd been entertaining for an hour while Sarah played video games on her computer and Mike played guitar, turns and says, "You're fat."

Thanks kid.

11:12 PM  

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