The obligatory New Year's Resolutions post

Some good friends of ours, or at least People We Used to Talk to on a Semi-Regular Basis, sent us two christmas mugs and some hot cocoa mix. I was trying to think of a meaningful way of thanking them that didn't involve dragging my ass to the post office since I don't keep stamps around the house because gawd, U.S.P.S. is soooo early nineties, but as I am not versed in pigeon training or smoke signals, an email will have to suffice. The package kind of smelled of re-gifting, but honestly, I'm just glad they remember us, since I've flung a few emails their way over the past several months with no response. Carwin also has been back in touch, and I detected a slight chastisement in his last message, as he referred to other good friends he loses touch with regularly, who are apparently never less than ecstatic to hear from him and everyone happily picks up where they left off, tra la la. Low maintenance friendships. I used to be a low maintenance friend, then I paired up with some high maintenance people and I guess it rubbed off, since I have somehow evolved into a mostly high maintenance friend over the last several years, much to my chagrin. So this whole thought process lands an additional resolution to my skimpy list of goals for the coming year.

I'm not big on making grand promises to myself, since I rarely follow through (who does, really?) and so, when I unfold the paper from the previous year I end up ushering in the new year focusing on everything I did not, in fact, do. It is especially disappointing if you consider that in making a Resolution, you are giving yourself a time frame of 365 days. That's a long time, people. A fairly relaxed deadline, and still, very few of us actually accomplish what we, in the twilight before the Brand New Year, thought was so damn important. It takes less time to grow a baby (a fresh, new, fully-formed, soul-included life!) and unleash it onto the world. We should all be ashamed.

On that note, my little no-sweat Resolutions list for 2006 (for future reference and self-flogging):

1) Do not create any lofty goals for the coming year, as life gets pretty damn busy, filled with trivial, yet stress-inducing things, and who needs a shoulda-coulda-woulda hanging over their heads? (This is where I do not mention any writing goals, dog obedience classes, trips, savings account status, quitting my current job, having a thriving new career, becoming People Who Own a Boat, becoming People Who Are Buying a New House Because It Has a Pool, etc. etc. etc.)

2) Be a more low maintenance friend. (This may necessitate finding a whole new group of local friends, but we won't mention that, or the idea of having to become more assertive and outgoing in a social setting, hell, even venturing out into the world of Other People more than once a month, not depending on Monk so much to be my sounding board, errand buddy, and weekend entertainment, or the accessory to the resolution that besides banning dramatic demands for someone's attention, also prohibits venting, whining and tallying up Gestures of Relationship Effort.)

I guess that's it. Heaven forbid I get too ambitious. It will be interesting to see who I've become and what I've done with myself a year from now. Someone told me the other day her big accomplishment for 2005 is not killing herself, which struck me, at first, as the best personal achievement of all. Then I started wondering if the rest of us could get our slice of the pat-yourself-on-the-back pie. I mean, anybody who abstains from any sort of killing is doing a-ok, don't you think? That clerk you didn't stab in the neck with your keys at the post office? Props to you, man. The receptionist you deal with everyday who is really too large to be wearing clothes that small and too dumb to be talking so much? Good job on not strangling her, yesterday, today and tomorrow. And we ALL didn't kill ourselves in 2005, whether we thought about it or not, which is aces. Here's to our continued success in 2006! Happy New Year everyone!

2 comment:

Blogger Lisa said...

Happy 2006. Hope it turns out to be a wonderful year for you and the honey. :-)

6:07 PM  
Anonymous pickle said...

I killed a man with my bare hands the other night.

It was before midnight rang in, so I think I can just safely leave that one behind me, right?

12:05 AM  

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