Stand up.

What do you do when your spouse won’t take up a cause with you? Where’s the law that states “when thou doth marry-eth, thou shall take on all viewpoints and passions as thy partner in good haste and forevermore?” We, as rational folk, know there is no such law (and not even a good, solid unspoken agreement, either). All the after-school specials and public service announcements (and my own bit of twin phobia) tell us that the world would be a boring/scary place if all people were alike.


When there is an issue that strikes you to your very core, one of the very few non-negotiable, deal breaker items that lie just under the rug of your psyche, an issue that makes you sweat and shake and see red and get dizzy and lose sleep and lose your appetite and lose your lunch … And someone takes this issue, puts it on a t-shirt as an example of ironic comedy (or comedic irony, I’m not really sure which), and you get upset (to put it mildly) and your partner says “well, I can see why they think it’s funny,” or “I can see both sides of this” (or GASP! utters BOTH phrases!), you may find yourself contemplating divorce for the first time in your marriage (because you suddenly understand how self-righteous can lead to litigious, and fuck it all, you sure want to sue someone’s ass off right about now).

Especially after you’ve tried to explain yourself and your cause and your stress, and the t-shirt makers dismiss you as melodramatic, uptight or sad, and your spouse still does not become enraged on your behalf. Is not too stressed that you haven’t been heard. Does not seem to mind that your opinion has been flicked aside because it is unsolicited, extreme, negative and “not within the target demographic.”

Naturally my rage shifted from my spouse back to the t-shirt makers, where it seems to be setting up shop, mentally spitting out an infinite number of responses to the t-shirt makers and their good friend, a pesky little asshole I call Ignorance.

It has been stated that if the clothing line wanted my opinion, I would have been invited to express it. It has been said that the poll I posted on an all-women message board that garnered a flood of outraged, disgusted and offended feedback was unfairly worded, and that I was playing the victim, stacking the deck with my “women’s lib” friends. (It should be noted that this is a national message board, made up of hundreds of women 18 and up, from all different backgrounds, income levels, social circles and humor buttons, but I guess with any all-female group some people assume you’re about to stop shaving your legs, start burning bras and embark on a Down With The Patriarchy rampage.)

If the shirt makes it out of the gate and onto the perky chests of the young female population, I wonder how many out there will actually see it and chuckle. Maybe two out of every three women laughing makes that one you just handed a flashback to, worth it. Because, you know, if what happens every two minutes in this country is executed in a courteous manner, it’s, like, all contradictory and ironic and funny, ha, ha, snort. Or hey, maybe Gary Lee Jackman will be really flattered by the t-shirt tribute to his nickname.

It is tragic that there are still people out there that don’t get it. That believe this is acceptable, and don’t know why there has been “all this hype for just a word.”

“Just a word.”

I thought there weren’t any to express my fury and frustration; turns out there are too many. The only defense I have against that deplorable sentence (and the apalling mentality it reveals) is an echo of the sentiments of my (apparently) anti-men, femi-nazi internet pals:

There is nothing funny about rape.


You suck.

2 comment:

Blogger Lisa said...

I'm lost.... What does the T-shirt say?

And your right. There IS nothing funny about rape.

3:19 PM  
Anonymous quinn said...

I wanted to keep it vague on here, to avoid giving the company any undue publicity. Hit the Jackman link for his nickname(towards the end of the article); minus "the," and you have the shirt slogan.

4:03 PM  

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