I should also practice my bone-crushing handshake

[edited to remove job-specific commentary. And there was much rejoicing.]

On hiring an assistant: I’ve already developed a list of job expectations, so I'm mostly prepared. Now I need to come up with some laser-precise interview questions that will reveal everything important about my potential assistant without forcing me to maintain eye contact for longer than 30 minutes. I think I'm on the right track:

1. Do you work best as a team or independently?

2. When was the last time you had to learn something for a job, and how do you think you handled it?

3. Are you a dog person, a cat person, or a freak who doesn't care for animals?

4. Who’s your favorite Golden Girl?

5. What do you think about calling me "Sir?"

And lastly:

6. Lemme see you hustle.

*(sigh) waiting for the indignant emails to flood my inbox. Hey, FilesLikeARockStar329 and FTfilefly, I'm not talking about you.

5 comment:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

#4 is priceless!!!!!

12:37 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Ok. You should do a post on what kind of person one is based on who their favorite Golden Girl is.

Ohh. Or have your assistant do it! heehee

9:02 PM  
Anonymous skyhawk said...

...Here are my answers to your assitant criteria. Let's see if I have what it takes...

1) Independently. Screw people.
2) Had to learn to bathe EVERY damn day, and not fart in breakroom. Quit right after. Screw people.
3) Animals rule. People suck. Screw people... especially cat people.
4) The one that looked like a man. She didn't take no shit. Screw people.
5) Sounds only fair, as I would be, basically, your be-yatch as your assistant. Sir. Screw people.

Sorry... I've been reading more of that "I got yo pants ice grill" blog...

9:10 AM  
Anonymous quinn said...

oops, Skyhawk, I don't see you hustling. Guess you're outta the running...

9:11 AM  
Anonymous skyhawk said...

Oops! Damn, I did forget to include my hustle... wait, I don't hustle for no
one. This monkey don't dance for no one. Screw people, and their damn
hustling ways.

I demand a startin' salary of $45K, plus full benefits.

4:55 PM  

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