It's funny cuz it's sad. (or, What do you mean I'm not cool anymore?)

Biff and I got into a near-yelling match last night during our weekly telephone conversation. It started innocently enough, discussing the fact that we might be alone in our strong dislike for the The Wizard of Oz and E.T. Neither one of us has watched either film in its entirety more than once. We played armchair psychologist as we validated each other’s gut reactions and the phone line was positively glowing with the exchanging of all the love. We also decided that the Creep Out Factor of E.T., for me, must stem from my strange yet deeply-rooted frog phobia (tell me I'm not the only one who thinks that alien resembles a warped version of my arch-amphibian-nemesis), which was enlightening, to say the least.

So, love, validation, warm fuzzies all around, and then Biff had to go and bring up my fondness for The Dark Crystal, Labyrinth and The Neverending Story, the only major (ugly, deranged) flaw in my otherwise brilliant being, according to her.

Q: Whoa, don’t be knocking The Dark Crystal. Or Labyrynth. OR The Neverending Story!

B: Are you kidding?! Those movies are the trifecta of fear!

Q: What’s wrong with The Neverending Story?

B: That giant flying dog thing? How does that not freak you out?!

Q: He was friendly! I always wanted a giant flying dog thing.

B: And don’t get me started on Labyrinth.

Q: Come on, think of the message of that movie! “You have no power over me!” It’s all about finding your backbone, taking control of your own destiny, destroying your insecurities, empowering yourself and owning your shit!

B: Oh please.

Q (a la Tom Cruise): Own your shit! OWN IT!

B: Okay, settle down. I must have missed the message of the movie, as I was too busy being CREEPED THE FUCK OUT.

[more debate followed about the three films; I let her have her points about The Dark Crystal, especially when we stepped on the landmines of my gelfling attraction and my tendency, after seeing the film, to hijack my great-grandmother’s crutches and go flying down the driveway, pretending to be a Landstrider
. However, my allegiance to the Goblin King and the karma of school bullies getting their due was solid.]

B: Just the idea of having The Dark Crystal in my house [the movie, not the huge giant rock itself, obviously] is freaking me out. You have issues.

Q: That’s beside the point. You obviously did not get these movies when you watched them, or you’d be singing a different tune right now.

B: You know, I don’t think I’ve seen any of the three all the way through, come to think of it.

Q: I think you need to watch them, then get back to me.

B: I think you need to go to hell.

Can you feel the love, people?

2 comment:

Blogger Lisa said...

Ahhh conversations you can have ONLY with the best friend you've known forever....

5:40 PM  
Anonymous pickle said...

You may not remember, but there's a scene in E.T. where the alien raids the fridge while Elliot is at school. E.T. gets wasted drunk, and Elliot - who has formed a psychic bond with the alien at this point - is, too, wasted. He saves a frog from being dissected, causes a kindergarten riot, and then kisses a girl.

Anyway, that frog scene couldn't have helped you like the movie very much.

I am pickle, and I liked E.T.

4:02 PM  

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