Sweet Duplicity

I had hoped to be training Assistant 2.0 at the beginning of next week, but that dream is fading fast.

What’s funny is when you interview someone and they seem great, and you’re all “let’s do a reference check as a formality, but really, she’s in” and then, when the reference giver is asked “would you recommend this person to us?” the reference giver, for all intents and purposes, basically says “fuck no!” accompanied by the colorful details of why the fuck not.

(What’s also funny, if completely unrelated, is the question Boss Lady asks me after every. single. interview: "Is she attractive?" Because we don’t hire Ugly around here, people!)

(Remind me to answer that one of these days with well, I wouldn’t kick her out of bed.)

(I would love to see Boss Lady's response to a statement like that, she who doesn't have a problem with lesbians, but doesn't understand why they have to wear men's underwear all the time.)

(Ahem. Back to the show.)

Interviewed a second candidate this morning and, while she’s very qualified (it appears) and very professional (she seemed), she left me with the distinct impression that she does not want the job. Which is not so good. On the other hand: hey kindred spirit! I don’t want this job, either! In fact, I was caught in a bit of a sticky position when I offered the usual “do you have any questions for me” at the interview’s conclusion. Instead of inquiring about the dress code or benefits, she stumped me: “What do you like about this job?” So of course I was very much “Oh, it’s great because bullshit bullshit bullshit, and then there’s the smoke-and-mirrors, smoke-and-mirrors, plus! talking-out-of-my-ass times a billion.” And mentally answering Not much! Uh, my window in my office? The fact that I’m planning to abandon ship sometime next year? It’s an office job, that’s all, and does anyone really like admin work? Isn’t it one of those things we fall into by default, bad choices or bad luck?

The inner monologue reminded me of my interview with Boss Lady two years ago. As a V.I.P. in a clothing company, she of course asked if I was into fashion and clothes. Inside-the-head answer: Not a bit, and I kind of judge people who are. When asked what appealed to me about admin work in general: Hmmm, the free internet access, all-in-one printer and an unlimited supply of Post-Its? When she wanted to know why I’d chosen this [admin work] as a career: um, if you refer to this as my “career” one more time, I may need to walk out the door and shoot myself just a little bit.

So this highly educated, over-qualified, very experienced candidate wants to commit to this part-time position long-term, and I’m in love with my job. I’ve asked her to come back tomorrow morning so we can sit around and blow more smoke up each other’s ass, and even Boss Lady will be getting in on the fun this time.

2 comment:

Blogger Lisa said...

heeheee. I've asked that question before in an interview. Cause I didn't want to get into another shitty Jerry Springer meets The Office situation...

9:00 PM  
Anonymous skyhawk said...

ROFL... Hey, kindred spirit!

I have always found it ironic that you're working in the fashion biz. Not that you aren't fashionable... well, you're not Dallas-fashionable, but I think you know that's a compliment... nor are you the fashionista type, but on the other hand, at least you're not wearing T-shirts with animals doing rude things to New Years Eve parties.

(NOTE TO THOSE NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE HORSE-D*** SHIRT: I don't mean animals are doing rude things to the parties... I mean wearing T-shirts, showing animals doing rude things, to parties.)

Hmm... I seem to have misplaced my point... well, anyway.

11:47 PM  

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