8.03.2006

Hey, sleepyhead

Assistant 2.0 (NOT that I’m talking about work) has two cats, and one in particular is apparently oversized and overweight. I don’t have a problem with her talking about them, more with the fact that I mentally trip over an elephant, and time stands awkwardly still for several looong seconds, when she quite seriously refers to the overweight one as “my big fat pussy.”

(Why must I have more than one apology to the Perverted on this site? In any case, naughty Googlers, sorry for wasting your time.)

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The family visit has come to an end, and I think everyone involved let out a sigh of relief yesterday. With the exception of my brother spending the weekend at our house (giving us more time to visit without the parental figures lurking and making mountains out of mole hills), nearly everything turned out anticlimactic, disappointing, or infuriating. How so, you ask? For instance:

~Dinner at Sister’s the first night- she’s making the dinner, we’re rushing over after work, but somehow Monk and I end up at the grocery store to buy half the ingredients for the meal on our way over.

~Friday night we’re supposed to meet over at Sister’s again. Sister calls before I leave work to tell me that- surprise! - everyone’s coming to our place (and we have nothing prepared or even hiding in the freezer).

~Sister’s air conditioning stops working. It is over 100 degrees every day of the visit. My parents are miserable, but (sigh) no, they don’t need to stay with Monk and me, they’ll (sigh) be okay.

~Every time Monk and I rush to meet them somewhere at a pre-arranged time, they are at least 20 minutes late (and never call or acknowledge the tardiness upon arrival). Saturday, Monk and I plan our entire day around the family, then spend about two hours waiting around for my mother and Sister to return from an impromptu shopping trip.

~Massage clinic mistakenly scheduled me on Sunday, when the family is supposed to spend the whole day at the water park. I couldn’t get out of it and, when I express my regret, am told by my mother that “(sigh) it’s okay, (sigh) it’s not like you’re missing a wedding or something important.”

~We order Chinese food for dinner one night. They forget something Sister ordered. She refuses to eat while we wait for the delivery guy to come back with her sauce. We offer to share our food, but (sigh) she’ll just wait for her sauce. 30 minutes later it comes, it’s the wrong sauce, her dinner is ruined but she manages to choke down some of the other food. For sustenance, you understand, it has come to this. Oh, and we only get three fortune cookies for eight people, which, according to my father, is grounds for blacklisting the restaurant from here on out.

(Okay, the fortune cookie thing kind of pissed me off too. Isn’t there an ironclad Chinese Food Rule that there should be at least one fortune cookie per chicken/beef/tofu/shrimp/whatever dinner order? Have the delivery guys been conspiring with certain bread-withholding waiters?)

~No one seems to want to do the activities that are suggested. Unfortunately, no one has any other ideas to offer, either. This means we all force ourselves to go along with the activity, Sister and my parents take turns complaining throughout, and we are left wondering why we even bothered in the first place.

Running from one place to the next, picking Monk up in the driveway after an evening massage appointment so we can swoop over to Sister’s and make the ever-lovin’-most out of the family visit… Haven’t had any real quiet time since last Tuesday (and this brat needs her quiet time), going to bed too late and waking too early (to meet people that can’t seem to get anywhere on time), and work (not that I’m talking about it) has me elbow deep in reports and spreadsheets. Fatigue is pulling at my eyes and expanding the hollows under them, my mind has been in a fog all week, and I’m experiencing a strange throbbing pain on the side of my neck. All I want to do is go home, have a beer, and collapse into bed nice-and-early-like.

Too bad I have to race over to the clinic when I leave the office today: I’m scheduled to give a TWO HOUR massage right after work.




1 comment:

Blogger Lisa said...

I think we have the SAME parents!

3:49 PM  

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