The more you look at it, the worse it gets

Monk and I went temporarily insane a few weeks ago and decided to commit an ungodly amount of money to a board-and-train program for the foster dog over Labor Day weekend, while we and the other two dogs sit around at the beach and selfishly enjoy some peace and quiet. Annoyingly inquisitive as usual, I fired off a series of emails and received enough information to counteract the can't-be-bothered-to-train-the-dog-ourselves guilt.

(Also guilt-inducing: Frequent fantasies of dropping the foster dog at the training facility, and "forgetting" to pick her up two weeks later.)

(Kind of guilt-inducing: Knowing we'd be all shrugging nonchalantly and "yeah, we taught her all that ourselves, whatever" later.)

(Hey, if you knew how much the board-and-train thing is, you probably wouldn't be advertising your "purchase" either.)

The insanity cloud lifted when I discovered that the board-and-train facility closes on the weekends, and would be closed on Labor Day. The first thing would prevent us from checking out the place before we write that monstrous check, and the second means the foster dog would be shorted a day of training.

Oh, I lamented, if only we could fly Cesar Milan out to Texas, then we'd all live happily ever after. But alas (and alack! Don't know what that word means but I'm feeling a bit dramatic and olden-timey today), Cesar is California's solution to problem behavior, not ours. I did, however, begin to research in-home dog trainers in the area. And, hark! (okay, stopping now) I stumbled across a program that seems promising. It involves a lifetime guarantee, and may even use similar Jedi mind tricks and magic fairy dust like I suspect ol' Cesar uses to turn bad dogs good.

So, we'll see what happens. I'm a little thrown off that I haven't received a return call yet, after I left a message with my information and a summary of our dog issues. Maybe I shouldn't have been so... honest.

But you know what threw me off even more? When I continued my trainer research and found a site that seemed to think putting the following picture up on their page would encourage dog owners' business. For the love of all that is holy and un-planet-of-the-apes-like, what were these people thinking?! I swear, I've never closed a web window so quickly. And now it's your turn.

1 comment:

Blogger Lisa said...

That IS freaky! That's gonna give me bad dreams tonight. Gah!

9:36 PM  

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