I might have missed my true calling in this life: Sister's baby shower was a big success. Such a success, in fact, that three hours after it started I was trying to figure out a polite way to say "get the hell out of my house, people, I have Work in the morning." I only zoned out a few times, during such conversations like When to Potty Train Your Child (sorry, don't have one) and Show Me What's in Your Purse (sorry, don't own one). One woman showed up with her toddler, which wasn't such a big deal once I realized the child was so timid she'd be super-glued to mommy's lap the whole time.

[Note to parents: Children are absolutely welcome in my home, as long as you give me enough notice so I can attempt to create a safer environment amidst the metal furniture, tile floors and exposed-because-we're-about-to-update-the-kitchen electrical outlets. Also? If I have three dogs and will be hosting an event with food: A dog phobia + PEANUT ALLERGY heads up before you just stroll in with your fragile baby would be much appreciated.]

After spending the hours leading up to the first guest's arrival with my mother helping out (anyone else with a mother whose "help" somehow doubles the time it take you to get anything done?), hosting the Energizer Baby Shower, and then more family time afterwards, I was more than ready for my free massage last night. Which is why it was that much more fantastic when I showed up at the clinic to "oh, you didn't get my email?" and the news that I could turn around and go home, as the class would not be having a demonstration after all. I'd go into more detail here, but I'm still sobbing which makes it difficult to type.


Tonight I get to meet a massage colleague (that was so pretentious and obnoxious-sounding that I just threw up a little) at his house to work on him for an hour. For free. Supposedly we'll then arrange a time for him to reciprocate the free rub-down on me, but as I'm a little scared of the dude's technique I don't think that'll happen anytime soon. Because I can't show up until after his kids are in bed, I won't be getting home until 11-ish and I know, I know, it's so unhip of me to admit it, but good lord, that is too late for me to be out on a work night. I lost the ability to function decently at the office on too little sleep about 7 years ago. Maybe I should get reacquainted with that old jerk Exercise and see if he knows where my energy went. Or switch up my vitamin medley. Or add a fiber supplement.

Getting off track here. Better go.

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