And I moved faster than a speeding bullet.

3:30 in the morning, and I wake to Blockhead-the-dog shifting position on the bed. The room is dim, calm and toasty, the air purifier hums a soothing white noise lullaby. I reach out to Blockhead, motioning her to come over and give me a cuddle. I have just clumsily raised my outstretched hand towards her when she vomits into it. And over it. Gushing. Onto the bed. And my pillow.

The only way I would have leapt from the bed any more quickly? If the vomit had been cold. Which it wasn't. Because it was vomit.

I'll give you all a minute here to clean yours off the computer screen.

Monk went to get a towel to, I don't know, dab daintily at the ocean of puke, but I vetoed his plan and started tearing the covers off the bed. Then the sheets. Then my pillowcase. Monk groaned at having to change the sheets in the middle of the night. And groaned some more when I started removing the mattress pad from the bed. If he'd had his way, we would have gone back to sleep on top of a bare mattress. "But I'm tired!" he whined. He looked longingly at his side of the bed, the side that had conveniently escaped the regurgitation. I held my ground, the new sheets went on (with a little pouting and a refusal to change his un-ralphed-on pillowcase), and we tried valiantly to return to dreamland.

So that is how my day began. In case you were wondering: Yes, I'm quite ready for this week to be over.

2 comment:

Blogger Lisa said...

Hey my dog puked this week too.

With being barfed on? And changing the sheets and stuff? You are SO READY for kids...

4:52 PM  
Blogger Becky said...


Dog puke is BY FAR much worse than kid puke. (Unless it's hot dogs. Hot dogs are gross.)

I've had to change sheets in the middle of the night. And take a shower to get it out my hair.

Did you have nightmares?

5:21 PM  

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