1.08.2007

Smile and nod

Yesterday at the clinic, when my first client arrived, I noticed they had scheduled a 90-minute Deep Tissue session with Yours Truly. Being foolishly ethical and all that, I told the receptionist there had been a mix-up: I haven't been trained in DT yet (but talk to me in a month), so I shouldn't have been scheduled to give a (more expensive) Deep-Tissue-specific massage. Instead of opening up a dialogue with the client as to whether she actually wanted DT, or perhaps she just needed a therapeutic session with deep pressure, the receptionist must have said something like "moron over here can't do deep tissue so you can piss off." Because that is just what the now-ex-client did.
This is where I take a Public Service moment to tell you that a lot of the time a client thinks they want Deep Tissue work, but once it starts? They realize that is not what they wanted at all and holy god would you please stop fucking with my muscles what have they ever done to YOU thankyouverymuch.
Seeing as how I now had about 2 hours to kill before my next appointment, I sat down to stare at the walls and kick myself for being honest. What a dope! As I waited (and waited. and waited. oh, and waited.) for the next client, I decided this honesty thing had to go. Hence, when the next client came in and started talking about Deep Tissue work on his back and neck, I smiled and nodded and promised to fix him right up.
Quinn says: "No problem, we'll definitely focus on your lumbar region and rhomboids with that, just let me know if anything becomes too uncomfortable or painful."
Quinn thinks: You have no idea what 'Deep Tissue' really means, do you?
And of course he emerged from his session feeling great, took my card, tipped me well, yadda yadda.
My next client came in for a 30-minute session and told me she only wanted me to work on her head. Not comprehending, I asked a few questions until I learned she was there for headache relief: "I asked them to schedule me with someone who did scalp massage and they told me you were the one to see for that." So I smiled and nodded and put on my Scalp Whisperer* hat (who the hell is scheduling these people with me, and why are they making up skill sets and head-rubbing reputations?), and we began the session. She spent half the time probing my so-called expertise to figure out the cause of her tension headaches and what could be done to relieve them in the future.
Quinn says: "I've, um, actually heard that Excedrin Tension Headache is pretty effective."
Quinn thinks: Because the commercial tells me so.
The client complimented my technique and asked if I knew anyone else, if I had any friends who experience chronic tension headaches.
Quinn says: "Oh absolutely, it's a pretty common problem, really."
Quinn thinks: So apparently I'm just blatantly lying now? I don't talk to my friends about tension headaches. I'm not even sure the three of them get regular headaches.
The woman left the session feeling much better and extremely grateful that I-with-the-magic-fingers had graced the clinic with my presence that afternoon.
I can't wait to start the advanced program next week- I don't think I want to include "Bullshit Artist" on my business cards.

3 comment:

Blogger Love Monkey said...

Deep tissue vs. Deep pressure - what's the difference - I'd like to know. I once had a physical therapist give me what I thought was deep tissue massage for my siatica, and it hurt like hell and it worked.

5:22 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Looks like you've definitely excelled when it came to getting your BS degree. heehee.

12:06 AM  
Blogger Kelley said...

I have this theory that all it takes to succeed in life is the ability to BS really confidently. I don't have the aura of confidence to pull it off, but if you've got it, work it! ;)

12:24 PM  

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