Please explain. Please.

Last night Monk and I met up with Skyhawk at our favorite restaurant. We split a bottle of wine, caught up with each other, and were laughed at by the busboy. Okay, I. I was laughed at by the busboy. Couldn’t tell whether he was laughing at the fact that I made up a word in English then translated it to Spanish, or just at the fact that the gringa tried to communicate with him at all. Whatever dude, just give me my cappuccino and walk away, before you get beaned by a cod fritter.

Skyhawk started educating us on cars and engines and… other... stuff having to do with automobiles and their insides. Can’t really remember the specifics because at a certain point in the lesson all I heard was “…dual exhaust and now you would like to have your dirty way with me.” Man, is there anything sexier than a guy who knows what he’s talking about and can relay it intelligently, but doesn’t display any arrogance or condescension while doing it? (Okay, I should definitely clarify: this rule applies to certain topics only. You start explaining the breakdown between the Star Trek crew and their job qualifications and I’ll probably just want to kick you in the shins and steal your backpack.) For a while there, I wasn’t sure which boy I’d be taking home, if you know what I mean.

(Of course you have no idea what I mean. Because that was so subtle.)

Give me a glass (or three) of red wine, fantastic food, then start telling me about my engine and I’m putty in your hands, apparently. After dinner we walked out to the new car to get Skyhawk’s seal of approval. Good to know we picked a decent vehicle (not that I care too much, since I’m still all about the “Look how shiny!” and “Yay! Sunroof!”). Monk popped the hood (oh baby) and Skyhawk helpfully showed us the different components, so we might eventually be able to shake this Car Moron image we’ve each perfected over the years. At about the same moment that Skyhawk pointed out the brake fluid container thing, I had to physically take a step back to stop myself from humping his leg a little bit.

So thanks, Skyhawk, that was very helpful (and hot) last night. And dinner was great as always. But you know, I’m not sure I remember everything you showed us, so perhaps you and I can meet up sometime and, you know, go over it again. Maybe next time we can take the engine cover off and really get in there.

God I need help.

3 comment:

Anonymous skyhawk said...

While I'm certainly flattered... and yes, you need help... I must point out that it took me two attempts to find the brake fluid reservoir -- as where I thought it was at first, turned out to be where the power steering fluid goes.

Yeah, I could use "it was dark" as my excuse... but that leads to "stumbling around in the dark" analogies, and that doesn't exactly put me in the best light, either...

7:52 PM  
Anonymous quinn said...


"power steering fluid"

So. hot.

9:36 AM  
Blogger DraMa said...

This post is hilarious. Seriously hilarious.

Your sense of humor is awesome.

7:31 PM  

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