Go away

Have I mentioned the rain? The raaaaaaaaaaainnnnnnnn, people, it will not stop. Rather, it stops, for about an hour, and then it pours again. And maybe you're driving home all bummed out because rock climbing's been cancelled, thinking "hmmm, perhaps I will go check out the other climbing gym after dinner, thank goodness it's stopped raining" when the sky opens up and shits all over you.

Sorry. Too graphic? My brain is shutting down, tactful areas first, in preparation for the Great Flood we are about to have here in Texas. God seems to be hosing off the end of his bible belt, but good. You know what, God? Whatever schmutz was on there? I think you got it. We're all about to float away over here, so (if you do in fact exist, mister): Please to cut it out in a most immediate fashion.

Rain rain rain rain rain -5 seconds of sun!- rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain -flooded kitchen!- rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain -Mmmm, mosquitoes!- rain rain rain rain rain rain rain

At first I was all, yay, poor man's car wash! But now I think I may shoot someone. Did you know "rain" is only two letters' difference from "rage?" What may have been an unimportant coincidence a month ago now carries significant -nay, profound- implications. I have cabin fever re: this whole soggy plane of existence here in Texas. I'm climbing the walls (ha ha not really cuz lame ol' Climbsalot did indeed bail on me last night, the jerk). The walls of my LIFE here, people. The weather, it tortures me. We will look back on this summer as the Summer of Nonstop Rain.

Lest you think I'm exaggerating, let me tell you of the traffic sign I read approximately 32 times as it blinked its message down to all the poor saps (yours truly included of course) parked on the highway this morning, while the rain (RAIN!) gushed down on us. Usually this sign is lit up to warn us of an accident, advise us of travel times, or report a missing child. This morning, however, the sign simply stated:


Yeah, thanks, sign, that's kind of what we're all trying to avoid around here, during this SUMMER OF NONSTOP GODDAMN RAIN RAIN RAIN.

1 comment:

Blogger Lisa said...

Nice to know others are getting rained on alot these days too.

Its so humid here in Mo. Gah. And its putting a damper on the neighborhood impromptu pool parties. Which SUCK because mommy needs a drink at 3p.m.! heehee.

4:01 PM  

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