This week, on the Learning Channel

LESSON ONE: Never accept a job offer out of desperation (I could choke you, 3-years-ago-me).
Two staffing services are struggling to find us some quality candidates for my replacement. Apparently, the starting salary is "a little low." So now I'm beginning to wonder how much of a sucker I am for snapping this job up almost 3 years ago, when the starting salary was even lower, and the responsibilities were even more numerous/overwhelming. Go me. Way to practice good business sense.

LESSON TWO: Back up your cell phone address book if it happens to be the only place you have telephone numbers stored for friends, family and business contacts.
Because quite possibly, in between one massage appointment and another, you might get off the phone with someone in time to see your phone display go... blank. And even though the phone has been acting a little evil for a while, you figured you could get a few more months out of it before biting the bullet and getting a fancy shmancy one because you are stupid. And a procrastinator at heart. So for 3 days now you've been kind of blind-dialling when you use it, you can't see who's calling (which, frankly, is not a gamble I am comfortable with so guess who isn't answering their phone these days?), and text messages are coming in but too bad! You can't read them! Life is a magical mystery tour!

At first it was kind of liberating to be unplugged. That is, "liberating" in a throw-up-your-hands, laugh-like-a-crazy-person kind of way. My new phone should arrive tomorrow evening and if I can't get my address book transferred over we will all have a good laugh and toast the life lesson that keeps on giving.

LESSON THREE: To be determined
Tonight I head up to a new school to help out a former teacher with his basic class. Nope, not teaching it (but I could. I could teach the SHIT out of that class. Whoa. No more caffeine for me today). He needed a body on which to demonstrate a 60-minute massage. Since I like the sound of "free massage," I said I'd do it. But then I started thinking of 30 people watching the rubdown, in a classroom environment (complete with classroom lighting) and... Hmmm. A lesson in humility it will be. Hold me.

LESSON FOUR: Telling someone they have a place to stay if they really need it means they might actually take you up on that.
My brother may move in with us. Like, next week. For an indefinite period of time. Monk and I refuse to stress about this until we know for sure. And by "refuse to stress" I mean "Monk's being very cool" and I am quietly flipping out but keeping the mess contained to the rumpus room in my head.

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