3.28.2008

Get ready to rumble

So. My parents came for a week. There was some yelling. There was jealousy directed at Monk and my brother for having too much on their schedule to enjoy my parents’ company nearly as much I did. My mother came up with the idea that my brother should try a career as a piano tuner. I suggested maybe he look into massage (or, why not professional cheese tasting? If we’re grasping at random straws here). My mother replied that he would probably need something more challenging and less routine. There was the taste of blood as I bit my tongue to keep from responding in howler monkey-like fashion re: how much I appreciated her belief in my career choice. But, best of all, there was this:

 JERRY SPRINGER BARBIE  
See the Princess Barbies sitting around, talking about their perfect little lives... Enchanted Barbie stands up to show off her new dress.


But hang on, Cinderella Barbie has suddenly noticed that Enchanted Barbie is wearing a dress that looks familiar.

“What the falafel?!” Shrieks Cinderella Barbie. “Tha’s mah dress, playah!” She throws herself across Snow White Barbie at Enchanted Barbie, who backs up into a beer bottle in terror.


“Gimme back mah dress!!! Gimme back MAH DRESS!!!”

Snow White Barbie blocks Cinderella Barbie from clawing out Enchanted Barbie’s painted eyes.

“Hold me back!” Cinderella roars, as the audience goes crazy, “HO' me BACK!”


More shrieking.  Barbies flying through the air.  Four year-old niece screaming with laughter almost tumbles out of her chair. Parents and sister less than amused.   

Don't worry, the Barbies hugged and worked out a joint custody arrangement for the dress after bathtime.  Except for Snow White Barbie.  Somehow she fell off the table and died.  But you'd have to ask a certain four year-old about that.  

2 comment:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

KILLING ME.

I miss you so much.

Love (Ho' me back!),
Pickle

2:42 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I totally want to adopt your niece.

Hysterical!

4:50 PM  

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