Oblivious, Awkward, Delicious


I'm sitting at dinner with a friend/massage contact I've known for over a year now, digging into the plate of fried pickles we've recklessly ordered to start the evening off (surprisingly good, by the way, if you can get past the fact that you're eating... well, fried pickles), listening as he regales me with stories of his latest fire-eating job, and wondering when the conversation will turn to inquiries about my brother, as all inevitably do these days.

Eventually, after the stuffed shrimp arrives, he asks me how things are at home and I attempt to sum up the situation without being too long-winded, trying to avoid being the conversational downer I fear I have become whenever I talk about my brother's status. I'm nervously gesturing, hunting for the appropriate descriptives, hoping I sound calm and mature, etc., my ring blinks in the bright light of the cajun-themed restaurant, and I hope I haven't just flung rice off my fork and into my lap. Fire Eater interrupts me:

"So, you live with your sister?"

I stop, confused. "No, my sister lives about 15 minutes away from us."

"Us. So, you live with...?"

"Right now it's my brother, me, Monk..."

"And Monk is...?"

Okay, this is getting a little weird. "My husband?"

If a facial expression could convey the image of a train derailing, that is what I would say flickers across Fire Eater's face. Just for a second- two, tops- before everything is as composed and bland as it has been. "And why haven't I met this husband of yours?"

"Um." More confusion. I laugh, unsure of what is happening. "You HAVE met him. I introduced you last year at [haunted theme park], remember?"

So. I guess the question now is: Who's the idiot here? Him, for not getting that I'm married, despite the ring-wearing, constant mention of Monk and a face-to-face introduction last October? Or me, for quite possibly dating this guy for the last year without realizing it?

I'm sorry, Monk. I'm sure you had no idea we were in an open relationship. But in my defense, neither did I.

2 comment:

Anonymous Huzzard said...

Too bad the proverbial "cat" is out of the bag my love, for I would have been "dating" too! But because you are the wonderful Quinn that you are; all is forgiven.

Except for the fire-breather....

He's an ASSHOLE! Wait, I've already used that line.......

1:40 PM  
Anonymous skyhawk said...

Darn. So I guess you and Monk are serious -- I mean REALLY serious -- after all?


5:40 PM  

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