7.04.2008

Land of the Free

So it seems I have this blog thing that I haven't updated recently but wahhh, I've been so busy doing... nothing.  And "nothing" makes for a pretty boring post, let me tell you.  This past week Monk and I have been riding the wild ride of not having my brother in our house for the first time in almost a year.  (A YEAR, people.  A year of essentially being the parents, caregivers, cheerleaders, physical therapists and mentors to a mentally ill, seriously unmotivated, messy, hygienically-challenged, completely dependent 23-year old with barely any life skills and the emotional maturity of a 15-year old.  Whee!  This was so not in the plan!)  He's currently visiting my parents up north for a week and we are currently staying out all hours of the night, blowing off meal planning and the gym, running around the house naked (well, half-naked at least- do you have any idea how liberating it is to be able to run downstairs barely dressed to grab clothes out of the dryer without worrying about traumatizing your always-there roommate?), waving our arms and yelling things like "Look!  We've been gone all day AND the kitchen's still CLEAN!" and "I had no idea how nice it was to come home and not have anyone staring at you expectantly or asking what's for dinner!"  or "What is that smell?  Oh, it must be the ABSENCE of smell coming from my brother's room!  What a concept!" Also "I can take a shower WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT!  AND DO LAUNDRY!  AND NOT HELP ANYONE PLAN THEIR DAY!"  There's also been a hold on attending mental illness support group meetings and stressful conversations with my family...  Man, it's going to suck donkey balls when my brother returns Tuesday evening.

So, in the absence of 24/7 Brother Rehabilitation, there has been a return to the land of freedom and drama-free existence Monk and I have spent years creating.  I've worked a little, played (climbed) a lot, and slacked off from the Responsible Life to my heart's content.  The only serious conversation that occurred this week took place with a friend after climbing Tuesday night and it involved broad topics (auras, cosmic significance, pursuit of happiness) and shared stories of past tragedies; not once did I talk about my brother, the Situation, or the Stress.  And, after an evening of beer-fueled conversation, my friend thanked me for my words, my empathy, eloquence and our friendship.  I went home feeling flattered, content, emotionally full, and more like myself than I've felt in a long-ass time.

I worked a nearly 10-hour day yesterday, skipped out on a fireworks show, then relaxed outside with a book and a glass of wine while Monk enjoyed having the tv all to himself.  I finished a chapter, set down my wineglass and tipped my head back, enjoying the muggy air, the distant booms from the next town over... when something WHIZZED past my head.  Assuming it was yet another Texas beetle (that I have finally, after almost four years, figured out how to tolerate- Texas nights are very, very buggy) I was... surprised to see that it was instead a gigantic cockroach flying around in drunken, increasingly-larger circles, over the patio.  And I thought (because I HATE cockroaches with a burning, seething, terror-tinged rage) "geez, that would really suck if the thing landed on my..."  BOOK!  It landed on my book right then!  Which was on my lap!  And then just perched there, waving it's huge, insolent antennae at me!  So of course I calmly freaked out, swinging my book up and out from my body and with a grand flourish SHOOK the book to dislodge the beast, hitting my wineglass in the process which shattered all over the patio, spilling what had been a full glass of wine all over the concrete...  And that damn cockroach just kept circling, circling...  RIGHT INTO MY FACE!!!  I shook my book (read: brandished it in front of my face like a battle shield) at the thing and exclaimed "Get the fuck OUT of here, you fucking... FUCK."  And, perhaps impressed by the triple profanity, the cockroach got the fuck out of there.

I guess I'd already used up my propensity towards eloquence for the week.

On the upside, if a giant flying cockroach is the only drama I have to deal with this week, I'll take it.  You fucking fuck.

3 comment:

Anonymous skyhawk said...

I had one of those giant flying cockroaches in my apartment a few months before I moved. Believe me, you sound like the epitome of calm compared to how I handled it (it was IN my HOME.)

I am seriously, SERIOUSLY jonesing for intelligent conversation of the Monk and Quinn variety. I can't believe it's been seven months since the three of us last gathered at De Tapas... god damn f***ing 650-mile distance...

Enjoy your "alone" time!

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Freedom is a motherfucker.

Love,
Pickle

12:06 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Enjoy your freedom! You know... a baby, (hell several babies) sounds like they may be easier to take care of. The brightside is that if you guys decide to go that route, it will feel like a walk in the park for you.

I hope he appreciates all that you do for him. Seems unfair that you and honey have to shoulder this all by yourself. But if there was ever a "SISTER of the YEAR" award, you'd kick the competition's ass!

1:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home